Happy pride month and i just wanted to say...
why the hell did i think i was straight? I'm nigerian and if you looked it up, it's illegal to be gay and trans in the country. Unfournately it is even punishable by death in some parts of Nigeria :( So Yeah, it mostly explains why i wasn't aware of LGBT and the fact you can be gay because i don't even think i thought about dating or being with the same gender romantically UNTIL 3rd grade 
there was a girl i was friends(OBVI not sharing the name) but i remember thinking she was so cool and i SO wanted to be her friend that i lowkey started hanging out with her more than my current best friend (which is a dick move and the "pals b4 gals" apply to SAPPHICS TOO BTW or just me lol, but seriously i'm not like this anymore...)I don't if she was well-liked among our classmates or anything, one negative trait she had:she's was a VERY dishonest person. She will tell me the most OUTRAGEOUS lies about herself and i just ate that shit up oh my lord 
Because i was THAT much of a simp or just very gullible. like she lied about being american which if you had brains and didn't mindlessly believe what people said, You would know that is false because it was pretty obvious that she wasn't american so most of the kids picked it up pretty fast...WITH THE SOLE EXCEPTION OF ME OFC. We became friends quickly and we talk and laugh with the other kids in the bus when we were all getting dropped off. We played togehter and things were good until i started having feelings for the girl and i even thought of kissing her??? gng and i still thought i was straight 😭. Whenever i felt these feelings,i quickly shooed them away, thinking it was weird to think like that. So i kept my feelings hidden because i didn't know what to do with them...then i moved to swizterland and never saw her again.Then i had a crush on another of one of my girl best friends when i was 11 except this was the time i questioned wheter i was straight or not. My mom,depite being openly homphobic, taught me what gay means and that gay ppl exists (still in a very homphobic bc she painted gay ppl as sinners and that was not "what god taught us to be" ) I ended up thinking hard about my sexual and romantic orientation...then went back to being a homophobe an a christian. Then i slowly saw myself drift from god and realised i like women too. It was painful to imagine how different my loved ones would treat me if they ever found out i wasn't explictlly straight. For a while, i thought i was a lesbian and i didn't like men which is like it isn't bad, it's just not who i am. Then on a faithful day, i realised i didn't have a clear aspect of what gender or how i want my partner to look like. Of course attraction and looks plays a role but honestly it doesn't apply to one gender or sex. I can literally imagine myself with a woman, man, someone who are both or neither, black or white, tall or small:That was the long answer of my sexuality. In shorter terms, I'M Pansexual and sapphic (the best way i can explain is that: i can love somebody regardless of gender and i have a prefence for women, or feminine-presenting ppl. why? because Women are hot ⸜( ˶>ᴗ<˶)⸝♡ Anywys i'm getting tired of blogging so...Happy pride and we all deserve sunshine!!!
